One year since my release

25 October 2009

Aspergers

It has been mentioned before, and I have dismissed the notion for a number of reasons (much like my ADHD) but I am coming to the conclusion I just might have Aspergers Syndrome. A few people had mentioned this possibility earlier, and I read information, and sort of discounted the notion. Over the past few weeks I have come across quite a few articles (randomly in the paper not looking it up) and have come to the conclusion it does explain a number of things.

I remember my sister Anne always commenting on my “phases” where I would get sucked into one subject matter and immerse myself in it, and move on to another subject and delve in with the same manner. I think anyone who knows me can think of a few of such instances without much difficulty.

I have always joked that I am socially retarded, but I really am. This is why at age 31 I have a handful of friends, and not one to whom I truly feel connected. Also explains why I have such difficulty cultivating new friends, which there are a number of things which run through my head when I meet people but I have difficulty really clicking.

The past few months in DUI therapy we have been talking about family and relationships. During class we would talk abut whatever and our assignment would be to do whatever stupid thing, but every week would would have to explain a relationship, and whats good about t etc, and all mine were with my dog, ha ha. So a few weeks ago the instructor finally starts calling me out saying I must have other relationships etc, which I do but none I either wish to discuss or that would come to mind, so she asks everyone in the class if they think this is true etc. All of whom, who I have had class with for the past 6 months said “I don’t know him well enough to comment”. I thought this funny since a basic guess would be that we have sent 50 hours together over the last months, and all anyone knew of me was I love to ride my bike, I am an alcoholic and I have a dog, but not her name.

Through the years I have had trouble sticking to a job, or a line of work for that matter which is a symptom of Aspergers. This has actually been getting better, but only since I started Ritalin which I think has just made my time at work move faster in a manner which has made it more enjoyable. Which again is a sign of the syndrome.

Moving

I am seriously considering moving again, I have a PO meeting later in the week, which I can get the info on when I can plan on having the ability to move out of the state. I am not sure if this could be filed under the Aspergers conversation but I just feel that Denver has lost its... excitement, its just “home”. I just feel sort of bored, and with nothing keeping me here (family, friends, work) I figure I should explore the country bit more. As of now I am looking at the following cities in this order

1. NYC
2. Seattle
3. Philly
4. Portland, OR
5. Chicago

I am tentatively planning on going to MA for xmas, and stopping in NYC for a few days to start a tentative look for work, and places to live. Also to see if I really want to be there. I have always wanted to live in NYC,but more so when I was younger and wanted to be a poor punk. Now that I am older there are many facets I would enjoy not to mention the obvious fact that NYC does have a huge concentration of furniture makers doing everything from reproductions to very contemporary. Also, through my alumni connections finding work would be easier than anywhere else.

The other mentionable benefit would be that I do have a friend in NYC, and I would be close enough to my

family where I could visit if I were so inclined. I still do have a few friends I keep in touch with in MA whom I
could see which would be nice.

Community Service
I have begun working off some of my community service hours, for the “Toys for Tots” program. I am making
sets of “Lincoln Logs” to donate. Though the last few weeks have been tough to get time in on them due to illness, and trying to make up some of the missed time I am hoping to get my hours in and done within the next month.