What¹s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

To celebrate the passing of Michael Jackson I thought some truly tasteless jokes were n order, and with the wonders of the internet here are the top 8 jokes 30 seconds of time and google can come up with... enjoy.


Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″? A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper? A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

25 June 2009
I don’t know why but the passing of MJ  goes by like anyones death... better them than me.  I just find it strange that here is a man who played the judicial system better than OJ and people are sad he died?  I was never a fan of his music, though I do recall doing the one glove thing at some point.  Honestly though he bought his way through the system, and molested children, and people are somber and sad to see his passing?  If only Hitler had come out with a few top 40 hits before the genocide of an entire race maybe Naziism would have survived.  I think people really are happy to see him dead, and are afraid to say anything because it is wrong to be happy at ones demise.  People die thats what we do, it may be tomorrow or 40 years from now, but at some point we will all be worm food, except for Christians because don’t they put their caskets in concrete?  They will just dry rot.  The amazing thing is MJ died at 50 and Mick Jagger is like 120 and still alive, now there is a dude who is cheating death.  My new theory is Mick Jagger offered death Ed, Farrah, and MJ to let him live another year... go ahead try to prove me wrong.  

Those of you who know my old man, his is a gentle soul, but I remember one time I think I was 16? we were eating dinner and I posed the question if you could kill 1 person and get away with it, no investigation nothing, just one freebie with no repercussions who would it be?  I thought my father would do the grown up, that is a terrible thing to think about etc. No, he says ”I only get one?“.  These days I don’t have the hate I did back then, I think I would have trouble finding one person who I hated to such an extent... maybe I have matured?  

In class this week we were discussing how one deals with stress.  When it came to me, I don’t stress about anything, because I really don’t care.  The discussion went into when I was in jail, and some people complained they hated it due to all that ran through their minds was what the ”should“ have done, and I would be lying if I said I did not thin maybe a cab would have been a good idea.  The fact of the matter, is you can’t change the past, you can learn from it, but we all screw up... and I screw up A LOT.  I figure at this point why stress, and this is my lesson to all of you.  Don’t stress the small stuff tomorrow is another day, life has a habit of passing us by so why waste it worrying?