An adult life

24 June 2009

Sadly my life has become just this, being an adult.  I should probably say it more as amazingly though it is a touch disappointing.  I have been doing all those things you have have been doing for years and years, paying bills, cleaning, laundry and basically maintaining you life in a decent fashion.  This is all new for me, and though has only been going on for a month it is already boring to me.  It seems the disarray, chaos then surrounded my life during my drinking days somehow filled a void, or made me feel as though my life was busy, or exciting when it was not.  Without that confusion, the sad reality has shone itself quite vividly.  

I have been cooking and cleaning, paying bills on time, working, and being responsible.  I somewhat feel like I deserved a prize for doing what I was unable to do at any other point in my life, but yet all of you have done since the age of 18.  While the I suppose I do feel better sober, the vacancy where drinking once occupied is more pronounced and like a black hole beginning to crush me.  

I have 1000 good things which have resulted  from quitting drinking, but yet sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels waiting to die.  I think I am having a mid-life crisis.

The gang of gays
I live near Cheesman Park which has always been explained to me as the “gay” park.  Google it, I did in an effort to figure out the length of the walk around the park, and found many links discussing the guys who sit in their cars in the park.  

Everyday while walking Jazmine I bump into this gang of gay homeless men who seem to walk all around.  T date I have been called “darling” delicious“ ”sexy“ ”edible“ and the list continues.  I just fin the notion of a tribe of gay men roaming the streets sort of weird.  I am thinking of the classic film ”The Warriors“ with the gangs of NY and how they all have their own uniform.  I think this gang needs a uniform to go fight the Bloods and Crips.  Imagine a gang of men in bright pink leotards brandishing baseball bats, it would be great, and formidable.  I think the local chapter of geriatric Guardian Angels would have their hands full.  

I was in fact amazed to find that the local Guardian Angel office is around the corner, I see them walking the neighborhood on the weekends and its like watching rerun.  Who joins?  Who even knew they still existed?  This day in age what do they do?  Its a neighborhood watch with a bad sense of style.  

The MS Ride
Is apparently in a couple of days, I forgot about it, and actually thought t was the end of July, but no its this Saturday.  If anyone wants to make last minute donations here is a link http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/COCBikeEvents?px=6518078&pg=personal&fr_id=10973.

I was supposed to have a date this weekend, and I texted to cancel with the excuse I have a bike ride I forgot about seemed really really weak, sad, maybe I should have called.