I would like to buy a block of cheese...

9 June 2009  

I would like to buy a block of cheese.... No, no, you walk down the street and you say Hey man, What’s happen’

 Those of you who are fans of Good Morning Vietnam are scoffing at how badly I destroyed that scene, the rest are bewildered at best.  In the scene Robin Williams takes over an English class to get closer to a girl.  I felt like one of these students last week.

As part of my sentence I have to attend “Relapse Prevention” class, and last week we were learning how to speak with out the aid of drugs or alcohol.  We were literally learning to talk “text book” here is an example.

Normal Conversation:
Person A:  The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.

Person B:  Dude, there is no genius in 3 assholes running a bar, and being stupid.  

Text book talk:
Person A: “The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.”

Person B: “If I understand you correctly, you think the show is brilliant because it makes fun of everything including racism and religion.  Is this correct?“

Person A:  ”Yes this is what I said“
Person B: ”I disagree, would you care to hear my reasoning?“

I want to kick my own ass for having to sit through that class, and yes folks I pay for this enlightenment.  Who talks like that?  Being socially retarded maybe I do not know much about conversing, but I have never heard anyone talk in such a manner.  This includes those idiots on Dawson’s Creek who speak like an unnamed friend in Africa (cough).

Moving
I have decided once I am off probation which could be as soon as January, but more likely September 2010 I am going to cash in the ”Joy of being single“ card.  Yes, I am moving to no where in particular.... why?  because I can!  I nearly moved prior to my arrest but decided to give Denver a try, but now looking back to the notion.  Here are my top thoughts, so I would be interested in what people might vote.  Also, if you have info on moving abroad, in terms of visa etc...  I am clueless.  I went and worked in Ireland illegal, but this time around would need to do it legit.  

Places (in no particular order)
*Philadelphia, PA (It is always sunny there)
*NYC (It seems like a place that one should live before dying)
Portland, OR (Just seems cool, and heard good things)
Chicago IL (why not?)
*Italy (Bikes, and chicks is there any other reason to wake up in the morning OH YEAH ESPRESSO!)
*Belgium (Bikes, and Beer... need I say more?)
*Germany (Beer, and some amazing world history)
Japan (Yes, I would bring down the IQ per capita but come on!)
Chile (Amazing whitewater, and mtn biking)
 
The ones with the handy * are ones where I figure finding work will not be too difficult, I know of quite a few furniture makers in Philly, and NY, Germany, and Belgium are hunches.  Considering I change my mind nearly every second who knows where I will be in December, but  I have no reason to stay in Denver, or the US for that matter.  Anyone know anything about shipping the world’s greatest dog overseas?