I left work today after putting in my 8, and peed in a cup, and came home. I got home 315ish, and then could not figure out why I wanted to leave work. Its not that I enjoy my job so much as to not want to leave, its just have no real reason to leave. I came home saw Jazmine, got to check my email, and look at some questionable web sites, but none of it is a reason.
Before work was a break between drunks, until the weekend came, and a long drunk would take place. Monday was to keep me alive or else my body would die from too much alcohol and no food. Then more recently I would see Phoenix, and never consider drinking. The nights we did not see each other were times to catch up on the things I was too busy to do, dishes, laundry (ha) and just good old fashion relaxation.
Here I have been home for 90 minutes and I am bored, I have eaten (for the first time in 48 hours), went through my email, payed my rent (3 days late.... I forgot) and now am just waiting for bed. I should go to the gym, but now that I am home, can't find the energy, but really what else do I have to do? I mean I am going to start to chafe before I know it, and then what!
Obviously I need a hobby which the first obvious choice would be scoping for broads online, which though I have done I am just going through the motions, I really don't care. Then furniture making, which I am ordering wood this week to make some end tables and a coffee table, but being a simple guy thats all the furniture I need, and its need is questionable. Cycling? Gets too dark to early to get in a good ride, so I could ride in the morning and worker later in the day, but my motivation dwindles once the shop empties. Plus, after I got the "talk" a couple of weeks ago my boss would just think I am slacking again. THe choice is clear... drugs, ha ha.
I should clearly be cleaning out the fridge, or doing my dishes but why? This then brings me back to drinking... and thus why I am an alcoholic, everything has an excuse except drinking. Drinking is social (just not for me) helps pass the time, and makes talking to women easier, and more interesting, make perfect sense right?
Finances
Today I started my new budgeting notion, I took out 120 bucks in cash with the notion that I have to make it last until next week for all my food, recreation etc. The one caveat is that all my UA's etc come out of my savings since today was 50 bucks to blow, drug test, and UA for alcohol use. This will be a 100 dollar week for those guys, good for them.
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3 comments:
scoping for broads online isn't what you should be doing right now...that's just a distraction from what you really should be doing...feeling better about yourself and getting your act together...THEN you'll be ready to scope for broads online...you need a non-female hobby...you need to not worry about women right now and just be still where you're at, even though it's uncomfortable...that's the only way out
Really? Shamrox I would have thought you would be more supportive of me looking for broads. I am 31 I have never felt good about myself, OR had my act together, who are you trying to kid? I was a mess when we hung out, and it has not changed, only now I am even more messed up.
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