and down the rabbit hole I tumble

11 July 2009

Stuff to do...
I used to wonder why girls I dated always had things going on, this night this, that night that, meanwhile I was always available.  I realized it these past few weeks... sobriety.  Their lives suck so they keep themselves really busy.  I always had my 2 full time jobs to keep me busy, but one of them I could do things while on the job.  On an average week I would spend a minimum of 30 hours drinking, meaning drink 3 was clocking in, until I passed out or consciously choosing to go to bed.  

All this free time has given me plenty of time to think, and well find the end of the internet... yes folks there is an end, and its not pretty.  The end is when you literally have to conjure up absurd things to google for no other reason than cheap laughs.  We have all been there at some point but after 30 nights you truly reach the end.  This got me into thinking what the F*CK am I going to do with this free time?  I started jogging mostly for Jazmine who I can never wear out.  I also take her to the dog park, which now she actually crashes with a goofy smile as opposed to sleeping due to boredom more than exhaustion.  

Activities:
 1. Indoor Soccer:  I looked into a month or so ago, and decided that it wasn’t for me.  I have always been drawn to soccer but I am beyond helpless, I stink to put it very lightly.  I was kicking a ball around a few weeks ago, and standing 10 feet from someone no running involved had trouble doing a decent pass, birds were laughing at e saying “look at the foolish white boy”.  All this said why not?  Like with everything else in life, we all pretty much suck until we put some energy into pursuing it, very few are given an uncanny natural ability without some work.  I guess its a bit of the old dog new tricks, as though at 31 I should stick with what I know, which has always been drinking.
 
 I have been in contact with a place and should start playing in the beginners league come October, which should be a lot of fun.  This also gives me some time to learn how to play again.  Plus a little practice time kicking a ball might be in order.
 
 2. Lacrosse:  I played for a few years back in high school and college , and actually had some great skills towards than end of my time at Norwich.  Again throwing aside the fact I am too old, I am going to give it another try.  I have been   looking into both for sometime, and both basically work the same way, and you can play all year long, in a number of leagues.  I actually could have played tomorrow if I had gear, but all I have are a few ticks back in MA which the old man is mailing to me this week.  I might be able to play next weekend.  Once I get the sticks I am going to have to spend sometime throwing the ball against the wall again, I am 17 again.  

3.  Fly fishing: I tried when I was in high school, never had any luck, but with all the rivers, and streams at my disposal here in Colorado I would be crazy not to give it another try.  Plus with how my work schedule is I get out at 1-2 p.m. going and fishing for a few hours in the heat of the day seems like fun.  Plus who knows maybe can catch myself something to cook.

It could have been me
I co-worker got fired, and the story is very poignant for me on multiple levels.  To begin with, I am likely to get laid off soon unless things pick up at work.  I was the last one hired so I will be the first one fired.  More so is apparently the story is (I do not know any concrete facts... its all heresy) that after living in a halfway house for a year he got out, and went on a bender only to be heard from a week and a half later from the hospital.  I knew a bit of his legal troubles, and knew he was in a half way house.  While living there you can not drink (BA’s every time you come in from the outside world) and you have to keep a job.  What I did not know is he used to come to work drunk, fallen down drunk, walking into stationary objects drunk, empty 5th found in his bag drunk.  

He was a good guy, I knew none of his drinking problem until recently.  With his being let go, it lets me stay for longer which is good but still feel for the guy.  Also makes me think, I have never been to the point of skipping work to drink, or drinking at work.  When I was younger I drank at work, it was a restaurant, and well the boss drank with us, and being 18 it seemed awesome.  I would never have now, or at previous jobs in the last 10 years, BUT who is to say I was not just a nudge away from that point?