An interesting day

18 February 2009

The day started off well, had a big day planned afterwork, so went a little early.  Work was great, though little boring.  Before I leave work I check my bank balance... my pay check has not cleared.  This throws a wrench into things since all my plans required money.  No worries borrowed 10 from a coworker so I could eat.  

I go to the bank to verify, yes, I have no money.

I go to blow grab my keys to lock my bike, wrong set of keys, so no key for my lock, OR my apartment.  I call the management company to see if they can unlock my place, they say 30 minutes (it is now 330).  So, not wanting to come back to blow, I bring the bike into the building in the elevator so I can blow without fear of someone taking my bike.  I get into the office, and yup random UA today, which I do not have the money for, so no UA a violation instead.  

I then ride home and sitting in front of my apartment with nothing to do, can't really go anywhere since can't lock my bike, and waiting for the guy to unlock my door.  I have a brief moment of genius, the two guys who live next to me are hoe and their door is open.  I knock, and ask if they will watch my bike while I run to Taco Bell.  The agree, and off I go, so to further teach you the inner workings of my mind,

 I start thinking...

3 tacos and beer sounds pretty good huh? Instead of ones normal thought process of just eating.  I buy 3 tacos and some PBR.  I get back grab my bike and sit on my stoop drinking PBR and eating tacos.  As I am returning to my apartment I am asked for spare change which honestly I had none, spent every cent on tacos and beer.  $10 dollars equals 3 soft tacos, and 5 - 24 oz PBRs to the cent.   After the tacos are gone it is 430... hmmm.  I call the management company again since they close at 5, and I am told 15 more minutes.  I am sitting there drinking my PBR, and though its not cold out, its chilly so after sitting there for 45 minutes I am getting cold, which got me to thinking home much it must suck to be homeless.  We all know it would suck, but really how miserable that must be, i will now be more forthcoming with my spare change.  

The neighbor comes out, and asks if I will join him for a beer... duh.  A few interesting things came out of hanging out with him, aside from a few free beers, they smoke pot constantly, only out done by cigarettes.  There was a murder in the apartment complex a year ago, and the reason for the fence in the back... drummer roll please!  He walked out one day and saw a prostitute going down on a bum in our little walk way.  He called the management company and the fence went up.  Since then there have been no spottings.  

At 520 they finally come to unlock the door, and tell me its a $50 fee so, rent went up this month because I grabbed the wrong keys.  The strange thing is riding into work I was curious about a noise on the bike.  I realized it was not the bike, but my keys.  I did not look at the keys but I thought it strange they were making more noise than ever before today.  I keep my keys n a little pocket on my sleeve this is why A) I noticed the noise B) did not bother to check the keys. 

Elevator etiquette

16 February 2009

As most know on a daily basis I have to go blow into a little machine
that says i have no alcohol in my system. A side from the time, and
money involved with this act there is another issue at hand. The
office is on the second floor and is run much like the DMV, sometimes
they don't let the line move at all. To get to the office you have to
take an elevator, the stairwell is locked.

Here is where my issue begins, I understand this office is not of the
upstanding citizens like yourselves, its for the degenerates of the
world, like me. i find though that common decency, and etiquette are
nonexistent. I am awkward in almost every situation so who I to judge
right? If I knew anything about how people interact and function in
society I might have something better to do at 5 am than write a blog.

This is how I have always treating the use of an elevator which I
could be mistaken.
1. Press button
2. Wait
3. When elevator arrives wait for doors to open.
4. Wait until people in the elevator car exit
5. Press button for desired floor
6. Wait

I think that is a pretty decent explanation of how one uses it, aside
from the maybe press the button for
someone in the car who is unable to reach etc. Here is how this
elevator works
1. Be sure to listen to your Ipod at full volume, but the headset on
your shoulder and a minimum of 6" from your ears in order to be sure
everyone else can listen to the new Jay-z song. (Talking on a cell
phone it a higher volume than necessary can be substituted)
2. Press button
3. Wait
4. When elevator arrives wait for doors to open.
5. The moment the doors begin to open start cramming yourselves into
the car immediately as though you were members of Barnum and Bailey
attempting to break the Guinness world record of loading a car.
6. Be peeved when the doors are unable to close since all the people
previously using the elevator are trying to exit the car pushing their
way to the doors.
7. Do not hit the button no matter how close you are to the panel,
because someone else will do it.

This is not an isolated instance this is how this elevator works, the
other elevator leading to the rest of the floors of the building run
in a manner keeping with my first example. This has been my
experiences for the past 3 months of coming to this office, but I have
a theory, and it is a great one.

I believe that the specific gravity around this elevator is 2 bars
less than the surrounding area making people disregard logic, common
decency, or manners making them snap into separate and distinct
different personalities which causes them to act like a 5 year old
charging a toy store. I have no proof of this theory yet, but given
government funding I believe I can prove this theory once and for all.

Sunday brunch

15 February 2009

I went out for the monthly brunch that myself, and some friends do,
which actually was interesting. On my way to go blow I am about 6
blocks from home, and slowing for a stop sign my chain breaks.
Luckily i was not going fast so I put my foot down slide to a stop.
While leaving my apartment earlier I realized I had forgotten my bag
(with my tools etc) in the apartment and figured what are the odds
something will happen? I walk home and fix the chain and head back
out. The broken chain freaked me out since, well the chain stops me,
so when it broke I had no brakes, kind of freaky. This time I had out
with my bag, and ride well slower than my normal cruising speed.

Arriving at Dazzle the place is packed, more so than usual I suppose
those with someone enjoy a good breakfast after the holiday. This is
the very reason I chose today a month ago thinking it would be good
after making love all day. We are talking when someone hears someone
ask if they will deep fry a twinkle for them, we all discuss the
merits of a deep fried Twinkie, when I decide it would be worth a
try. It was quite good better dipped in chocolate but good.

The long, and the short of "Marie"

15 February 2009

I remember in high school I used to write a lot, and listened to Henry
Rollins entirely too much. I would stay up until all hours writing
and drinking Slush puppies, do they still have those? Senior year
rolls around and through some turn of events I started dating this
girl who i had actually been eyeing for year, but being well socially
awkward I could never make a move. I forget how we even started
dating because clearly I am in capable of asking out a girl at 31, at
18 that was not going to happen.

We ended up having a short lived pseudo relationship in which as with
today I jumped into with both feet, and thus ruining it. I used to
write her poems and stories which her mom would also read. They both
thought I was a genius, not quite. Hell I was 18 angry at the world
and listened to Rollins 24/7 I had issues. We ended up breaking up
why I am not completely sure, but it was high school relationships
were short lived with tons of drama, We still ended up going to the
prom which was miserable. I was even more anti social back in those
days how I clearly I could not go and have a good time, I had to revel
in my one misery. After that we never really talked, and I graduated
and went to Georgia for AIT.

Toward the end of my time in AIT I decided to call her, why I am not
sure. Not even sure how I knew her number but it was 1996, back
before the age of being born with a cell phone, and ipod. People
remembered phones numbers, and directions, and walked around with c.d.
players. I remember calling and she says "what would ever possess you
to call me" clearly our break up made some sort of impact on her, ha ha.

We talked, and things worked themselves out, and made plans to meet
the night I was returning to MA. I was so excited, I remember the
final days of AIT you have a TON of paperwork to do, tons, and tons it
is the military after all. There was a chance we were not going to
get out on time due to not being able to get something signed. I was
freaking out because I could not wait to see her. Everything worked
out, I got my flight to MA, and I went over her place to watch a movie.

This will amaze you all, we were sitting on the couch and all I wanted
to do was make out but being 18 (or 31 for that matter) I was too
scared to make a move. we talked I went home and the courtship began
again. I do recall bringing her flowers that night, funny how I still
do that 13 years later, and with the same results, ha ha. I kept
writing her letters, but I was out of high school waiting to start
college in the spring, while she was finishing starting her senior
year. So it was tougher to see her, which brought me to stalking her,
not quite but i was young, stupid, and in love.

I remember one day giving her Karen Finleys "Shock Treatment" for her
to read thinking she would enjoy the book. I gave her the book some
flowers, and somethings I had written. I called her and I got quickly
disposed of, apparently her mother thumbed through the book which mind
you was well graphic, angry and sexual. I was 18 young and in love,
this book made sense as a gift at the time I swear it did. Her mom
forbid us from seeing each other, and her from talking to me

One night I went to school with my sister, and used the library well
she was in a study group I came home, went to my room and I here my
father ask me to come down to talk. I knew instinctively I was in
trouble but for what? I start running things through my mind, but can
not figure out why I am in trouble. I come into the room, and ask
what's up.

Dad: "The cops stopped by earlier"
Now I am freaking out because, cops are never good news. At a mile a
minute I am trying to figure out why the cops were looking for me, but
still come to a blank.

Dad: "So, that girl you were talking to, you can't talk to her
anymore. Her parents are worried and are threatening a restraining
order."
After a long talk about the law and so forth, the nail is in the
coffin, and I never see her, life moves forward.

As the years pass I hear a little from time to time about her. I
still thought of her, back then I was a hopeless romantic, today I am
just hopeless. She was my first love, and always had a spot in my
heart.

The other night I was on facebook, and I happen to see she commented
on a friends posting, and I also comment thinking maybe she will
notice me and start a dialogue, still worried well the cops would be
knocking on my door. My plan totally worked, we emailed each other
she is married, 2 kids living in MA. This would be a happy ending to
a story of lost love, stalking, and slush puppies but yet it has only
begun.

We have been talking the last few days, and its like old times again
talk for hours joke around. Filling in each other about the past 13
years, jobs and so forth. I told her I was in jail for having a meth
lab, to soften the blow of being in jail for a DUI. "Marie" is cool
with that and things have been going great, aside from the fact I have
been pining over her for 13 years. People who know me well that my
head works fast i get really revved up, and can't just look around and
take things slow. Imagine my head after 13 years of longing.... its
not pretty. Think of the 80's comic Gallagher crushing the
watermelon, sort of like that only in slow motion. This clearly can
not be something good for my head, hell I am a mess, now this? I so
need a shrink!

2 years... and slowly dying

11 February 2009

Yesterday was my two year anniversary of moving to Colorado which got
me thinking, about the fact I still have not had a true relationship
in sometime. In the past 2 years I have had sex with 13 different
people, and dated... I don't know. I am actually not 100% on the
number 13, I would have easily forgotten one.

This has NEVER been my style, I have am a serial monogamist, up until
moving I think there is something in the water which makes women here
a touch... touched. Over the past 2 years there are a few which I
hoped and tried my best to turn into something meaningful, but as life
has a way of doing it sorted itself out.

As I search the library f match.com I start wondering really, what is
next. Do I really keep doing this? Where is the end, or will it ever
end, and I going to be 80 sitting on Match trying to find some young
60 year old tail?

Almost died twice
I worked a good 10 hour day today, and riding home 2 interesting
things happened. As I charged to get through a yellow/red light and
something goes wrong... not sure what thinking I snapped an axle,
luckily the bike is still moveable and ride it to the curb. Turns out
I threw the chain, which how? I have no clue, must of been putting
down some good power with a slightly loose chain? This is problematic
in many ways since the chain is how I am capable of stopping. The
chain jumped inward to the spokes which is bad in terms it could tear
the rear wheel apart luckily it fell in and though ate up my spoke a
bit, did not break any, and by falling inward there was friction to
let me stop. I fix this and continue home.

A mile later I go to skid before rushing into traffic when something
slips..... no brakes. Luckily it grabs again and I stop about 2 feet
from a bumper moving 30 mph. I goto accelerate and nearly spill as
something slips again. I just fixed the culprit, the lock ring was
loose, which I can only imagine was a result of the thrown chain
earlier. I am starting to think of the movie 'Final Destination' and
getting a little worried, ha ha.

I learn slowly

11 February 2009

Yesterday afterwork I had a bunch of errands to run, so I went into
work at 6, leaving at 2. I went and ran my errands getting home
around 330. About 415 I was bored to death... thus I started
drinking. My new way of thinking is going to be to go into work
later, meaning I do not get home until later, which actually works to
keep me sober. Also I do enjoy killing 2-3 hours before heading into
work, write my blog, have some pancakes, listen to some music etc.

Betty gets a new pair of shoes
Ok, not quite but I ordered her a new rear wheel. Her current one has
a lump in it so as your ride you feel a thump every time you hit the
high spot. I can not get it fixed (pun intended) since I do not have
a spare rear wheel to put on her, and without a wheel I got no
transportation.

The idea being when the new wheel comes in I can fix the current
wheel, and keep it as a spare in case something happens, broken spoke
etc. I will have pictures next week after it gets built but should
look snazzy.

2 Years

10 February 2009

Today marks two years in Colorado, I suppose technically its
tomorrow. 2 years ago today we set out in a Honda Element with all
our belongings to make a new life in CO in hopes ofr striking it rich
in the gold rush. What?

Kris and I made the trek in 35 hours (+/-) it was quite the haul. I
remember it quite clearly it was interesting and pretty brutal. I
think I drove 31 of the hours, stopping only to eat twice, and
stopping every 2 hours to refuel and grab energy drinks. I forget how
much the drive cost but every stop I would grab 4 energy drinks (I
tried them ALL) and hop back in the car and continue West.

Everything was good until we hit Iowa where the exit sign number is a
mile marker, and I remember the first sign is 400+ and my jaw
dropped. I remember computing 400+ miles of darkness (it was 2 am or
so) with nothing to see but passing lorries.

I moved to Colorado with 5 boxes 16" x16" a duffle bag and 3 bikes,
and since then I haven't really got much more stuff, well nothing that
if I was moving across the country again I wouldn't mind losing. It
was quite the fantastic trek, thanks to an ipod otherwise I would have
likely gone insane, maybe I did a little regardless.

Last night I as I went to bed at 8 pm (no, I am not 60) I started
thinking about the last 2 years. There have been a lot of crappy
times in Colorado, not sure why I love it here, ha ha. Most were a
matter of just living (heartache) some were my own stupidity (DUI) and
the rest just were. There have been some great times mostly the
little things, like riding to the top of the highest paved road in
North America on a bicycle (Mount Evans). Riding 25 miles to work
each day (fixed) and seeing the sun rise over farm land, and slowly
showing the snow capped mountains.

Now in Denver, I nearly forget how majestic the mountains are on a day
to day basis, but whenever I get to go snowboarding in them I quickly
remember. A couple of weeks ago riding down Loveland pass with
Jazmine running along side through a foot of fresh powder was probably
one of the coolest moments in recent memory. We stopped half way down
and hung out in the smoke shack before finishing off the ride. Only
to reach the road catching a ride back to the top to do it again.

I have yet to return to MA, and really the thought has never crossed my mind.  On the same note only one person has come to visit me.  Someday I should head back to visit the pole' and the family, but not anytime soon.  There is always Christmas 2009, ha ha. 

In the short term I am "stuck" here until I am done with my probation
(Sept 2010) after that who knows . 2 Years is a long way off, and 4
years ago I would have never guessed I would be living in Colorado so
I suppose its just a matter of enjoying the ride.