11 July 2009
Stuff to do...
I used to wonder why girls I dated always had things going on, this night this, that night that, meanwhile I was always available. I realized it these past few weeks... sobriety. Their lives suck so they keep themselves really busy. I always had my 2 full time jobs to keep me busy, but one of them I could do things while on the job. On an average week I would spend a minimum of 30 hours drinking, meaning drink 3 was clocking in, until I passed out or consciously choosing to go to bed.
All this free time has given me plenty of time to think, and well find the end of the internet... yes folks there is an end, and its not pretty. The end is when you literally have to conjure up absurd things to google for no other reason than cheap laughs. We have all been there at some point but after 30 nights you truly reach the end. This got me into thinking what the F*CK am I going to do with this free time? I started jogging mostly for Jazmine who I can never wear out. I also take her to the dog park, which now she actually crashes with a goofy smile as opposed to sleeping due to boredom more than exhaustion.
Activities:
1. Indoor Soccer: I looked into a month or so ago, and decided that it wasn’t for me. I have always been drawn to soccer but I am beyond helpless, I stink to put it very lightly. I was kicking a ball around a few weeks ago, and standing 10 feet from someone no running involved had trouble doing a decent pass, birds were laughing at e saying “look at the foolish white boy”. All this said why not? Like with everything else in life, we all pretty much suck until we put some energy into pursuing it, very few are given an uncanny natural ability without some work. I guess its a bit of the old dog new tricks, as though at 31 I should stick with what I know, which has always been drinking.
I have been in contact with a place and should start playing in the beginners league come October, which should be a lot of fun. This also gives me some time to learn how to play again. Plus a little practice time kicking a ball might be in order.
2. Lacrosse: I played for a few years back in high school and college , and actually had some great skills towards than end of my time at Norwich. Again throwing aside the fact I am too old, I am going to give it another try. I have been looking into both for sometime, and both basically work the same way, and you can play all year long, in a number of leagues. I actually could have played tomorrow if I had gear, but all I have are a few ticks back in MA which the old man is mailing to me this week. I might be able to play next weekend. Once I get the sticks I am going to have to spend sometime throwing the ball against the wall again, I am 17 again.
3. Fly fishing: I tried when I was in high school, never had any luck, but with all the rivers, and streams at my disposal here in Colorado I would be crazy not to give it another try. Plus with how my work schedule is I get out at 1-2 p.m. going and fishing for a few hours in the heat of the day seems like fun. Plus who knows maybe can catch myself something to cook.
It could have been me
I co-worker got fired, and the story is very poignant for me on multiple levels. To begin with, I am likely to get laid off soon unless things pick up at work. I was the last one hired so I will be the first one fired. More so is apparently the story is (I do not know any concrete facts... its all heresy) that after living in a halfway house for a year he got out, and went on a bender only to be heard from a week and a half later from the hospital. I knew a bit of his legal troubles, and knew he was in a half way house. While living there you can not drink (BA’s every time you come in from the outside world) and you have to keep a job. What I did not know is he used to come to work drunk, fallen down drunk, walking into stationary objects drunk, empty 5th found in his bag drunk.
He was a good guy, I knew none of his drinking problem until recently. With his being let go, it lets me stay for longer which is good but still feel for the guy. Also makes me think, I have never been to the point of skipping work to drink, or drinking at work. When I was younger I drank at work, it was a restaurant, and well the boss drank with us, and being 18 it seemed awesome. I would never have now, or at previous jobs in the last 10 years, BUT who is to say I was not just a nudge away from that point?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
MS 150, and the weekend news
2 July 2009
The ride
I have gone through my life never really feeling any connection to my surroundings. I spent nearly 30 years in MA, of all the people I met I keep in contact with 10(?) have had 2 visitors (this includes family) these are not statistics of a popular or well loved individual. Colorado has been much of the same which I have grown to enjoy. In the past couple of years I have had times where my social calender was full, and I had plans everyday. These tend to be short stints because friendship takes energy, and it tough to find people willing to put in the effort, or are worth the effort. This is why I want to thank everyone who helped make the ride possible either through contributions, emails wishing me luck or watching Mrs. Nuegeburger.
Well, I ended up making it to the ride, and completed it without incident. The distance I was never concerned about, but I managed to find myself in some snappy pace lines and riding 22+ mph for the vast majority of the ride, this was the surprise. The ride was very well run, plenty of food, excellent weather, and great support. Overall I rode 193+ miles in the two days, with an average speed of just under 20 mph. I met some great people and began to recognize who is great in my life here in Denver. It is amazing to see who steps up when you need help be it either in contributions or watching the dog.
Random note
I was hooking up with a girl a few months back and she taught me that its not the quantity its the quality. She still texts me though we haven’t seen each other in well over a month. She does not text with purpose, or reason, she texts to here herself “talk”. I will not respond, she stills texts, she does not ask if i got the previous text or if I am there. She also re-enforced something I had learned previously, the more a woman talks about sex (prior to having it with you) the worse she is in bed. How can a woman be bad in bed you might ask? If you have to ask you are A) a woman B) terrible, sorry t break the news to you.
Slush Puppies
I have loved Slush Puppies since I was a kid, I remember walking across the park to Edmund’s to get them when I was young. In high school I went to the Exxon station and would get 2, one for now and one for the fridge for later. Colorado with its many short comings has yet another, they do not have the drink of the gods, and no one knows what it is, which is just sad. I have been looking online and have come to a revelation I need to buy a Slush Puppie machine, attach it to my bike, and drive around town selling the sweet sweet nectar to the sad souls of Colorado. This is the latest variation of the ice cream bike idea I had a month ago, this equally brilliant, or maybe even better. All I know is on a hot Saturday after noon riding the bike to the top of Lookout mountain and setting up shop I would make a killing! I want to get a midget on board to serve them as a ride, A) to help facilitate sales while traveling through downtown B) midgets are awesome! The midget would serve much like the monkey of the peanut vendors of old, only cooler.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
What¹s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.
To celebrate the passing of Michael Jackson I thought some truly tasteless jokes were n order, and with the wonders of the internet here are the top 8 jokes 30 seconds of time and google can come up with... enjoy.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″? A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper? A: Michael Jackson’s hand.
25 June 2009
I don’t know why but the passing of MJ goes by like anyones death... better them than me. I just find it strange that here is a man who played the judicial system better than OJ and people are sad he died? I was never a fan of his music, though I do recall doing the one glove thing at some point. Honestly though he bought his way through the system, and molested children, and people are somber and sad to see his passing? If only Hitler had come out with a few top 40 hits before the genocide of an entire race maybe Naziism would have survived. I think people really are happy to see him dead, and are afraid to say anything because it is wrong to be happy at ones demise. People die thats what we do, it may be tomorrow or 40 years from now, but at some point we will all be worm food, except for Christians because don’t they put their caskets in concrete? They will just dry rot. The amazing thing is MJ died at 50 and Mick Jagger is like 120 and still alive, now there is a dude who is cheating death. My new theory is Mick Jagger offered death Ed, Farrah, and MJ to let him live another year... go ahead try to prove me wrong.
Those of you who know my old man, his is a gentle soul, but I remember one time I think I was 16? we were eating dinner and I posed the question if you could kill 1 person and get away with it, no investigation nothing, just one freebie with no repercussions who would it be? I thought my father would do the grown up, that is a terrible thing to think about etc. No, he says ”I only get one?“. These days I don’t have the hate I did back then, I think I would have trouble finding one person who I hated to such an extent... maybe I have matured?
In class this week we were discussing how one deals with stress. When it came to me, I don’t stress about anything, because I really don’t care. The discussion went into when I was in jail, and some people complained they hated it due to all that ran through their minds was what the ”should“ have done, and I would be lying if I said I did not thin maybe a cab would have been a good idea. The fact of the matter, is you can’t change the past, you can learn from it, but we all screw up... and I screw up A LOT. I figure at this point why stress, and this is my lesson to all of you. Don’t stress the small stuff tomorrow is another day, life has a habit of passing us by so why waste it worrying?
To celebrate the passing of Michael Jackson I thought some truly tasteless jokes were n order, and with the wonders of the internet here are the top 8 jokes 30 seconds of time and google can come up with... enjoy.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″? A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they’re putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper? A: Michael Jackson’s hand.
25 June 2009
I don’t know why but the passing of MJ goes by like anyones death... better them than me. I just find it strange that here is a man who played the judicial system better than OJ and people are sad he died? I was never a fan of his music, though I do recall doing the one glove thing at some point. Honestly though he bought his way through the system, and molested children, and people are somber and sad to see his passing? If only Hitler had come out with a few top 40 hits before the genocide of an entire race maybe Naziism would have survived. I think people really are happy to see him dead, and are afraid to say anything because it is wrong to be happy at ones demise. People die thats what we do, it may be tomorrow or 40 years from now, but at some point we will all be worm food, except for Christians because don’t they put their caskets in concrete? They will just dry rot. The amazing thing is MJ died at 50 and Mick Jagger is like 120 and still alive, now there is a dude who is cheating death. My new theory is Mick Jagger offered death Ed, Farrah, and MJ to let him live another year... go ahead try to prove me wrong.
Those of you who know my old man, his is a gentle soul, but I remember one time I think I was 16? we were eating dinner and I posed the question if you could kill 1 person and get away with it, no investigation nothing, just one freebie with no repercussions who would it be? I thought my father would do the grown up, that is a terrible thing to think about etc. No, he says ”I only get one?“. These days I don’t have the hate I did back then, I think I would have trouble finding one person who I hated to such an extent... maybe I have matured?
In class this week we were discussing how one deals with stress. When it came to me, I don’t stress about anything, because I really don’t care. The discussion went into when I was in jail, and some people complained they hated it due to all that ran through their minds was what the ”should“ have done, and I would be lying if I said I did not thin maybe a cab would have been a good idea. The fact of the matter, is you can’t change the past, you can learn from it, but we all screw up... and I screw up A LOT. I figure at this point why stress, and this is my lesson to all of you. Don’t stress the small stuff tomorrow is another day, life has a habit of passing us by so why waste it worrying?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
An adult life
24 June 2009
Sadly my life has become just this, being an adult. I should probably say it more as amazingly though it is a touch disappointing. I have been doing all those things you have have been doing for years and years, paying bills, cleaning, laundry and basically maintaining you life in a decent fashion. This is all new for me, and though has only been going on for a month it is already boring to me. It seems the disarray, chaos then surrounded my life during my drinking days somehow filled a void, or made me feel as though my life was busy, or exciting when it was not. Without that confusion, the sad reality has shone itself quite vividly.
I have been cooking and cleaning, paying bills on time, working, and being responsible. I somewhat feel like I deserved a prize for doing what I was unable to do at any other point in my life, but yet all of you have done since the age of 18. While the I suppose I do feel better sober, the vacancy where drinking once occupied is more pronounced and like a black hole beginning to crush me.
I have 1000 good things which have resulted from quitting drinking, but yet sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels waiting to die. I think I am having a mid-life crisis.
The gang of gays
I live near Cheesman Park which has always been explained to me as the “gay” park. Google it, I did in an effort to figure out the length of the walk around the park, and found many links discussing the guys who sit in their cars in the park.
Everyday while walking Jazmine I bump into this gang of gay homeless men who seem to walk all around. T date I have been called “darling” delicious“ ”sexy“ ”edible“ and the list continues. I just fin the notion of a tribe of gay men roaming the streets sort of weird. I am thinking of the classic film ”The Warriors“ with the gangs of NY and how they all have their own uniform. I think this gang needs a uniform to go fight the Bloods and Crips. Imagine a gang of men in bright pink leotards brandishing baseball bats, it would be great, and formidable. I think the local chapter of geriatric Guardian Angels would have their hands full.
I was in fact amazed to find that the local Guardian Angel office is around the corner, I see them walking the neighborhood on the weekends and its like watching rerun. Who joins? Who even knew they still existed? This day in age what do they do? Its a neighborhood watch with a bad sense of style.
The MS Ride
Is apparently in a couple of days, I forgot about it, and actually thought t was the end of July, but no its this Saturday. If anyone wants to make last minute donations here is a link http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/COCBikeEvents?px=6518078&pg=personal&fr_id=10973.
I was supposed to have a date this weekend, and I texted to cancel with the excuse I have a bike ride I forgot about seemed really really weak, sad, maybe I should have called.
Sadly my life has become just this, being an adult. I should probably say it more as amazingly though it is a touch disappointing. I have been doing all those things you have have been doing for years and years, paying bills, cleaning, laundry and basically maintaining you life in a decent fashion. This is all new for me, and though has only been going on for a month it is already boring to me. It seems the disarray, chaos then surrounded my life during my drinking days somehow filled a void, or made me feel as though my life was busy, or exciting when it was not. Without that confusion, the sad reality has shone itself quite vividly.
I have been cooking and cleaning, paying bills on time, working, and being responsible. I somewhat feel like I deserved a prize for doing what I was unable to do at any other point in my life, but yet all of you have done since the age of 18. While the I suppose I do feel better sober, the vacancy where drinking once occupied is more pronounced and like a black hole beginning to crush me.
I have 1000 good things which have resulted from quitting drinking, but yet sometimes I feel like I am just spinning my wheels waiting to die. I think I am having a mid-life crisis.
The gang of gays
I live near Cheesman Park which has always been explained to me as the “gay” park. Google it, I did in an effort to figure out the length of the walk around the park, and found many links discussing the guys who sit in their cars in the park.
Everyday while walking Jazmine I bump into this gang of gay homeless men who seem to walk all around. T date I have been called “darling” delicious“ ”sexy“ ”edible“ and the list continues. I just fin the notion of a tribe of gay men roaming the streets sort of weird. I am thinking of the classic film ”The Warriors“ with the gangs of NY and how they all have their own uniform. I think this gang needs a uniform to go fight the Bloods and Crips. Imagine a gang of men in bright pink leotards brandishing baseball bats, it would be great, and formidable. I think the local chapter of geriatric Guardian Angels would have their hands full.
I was in fact amazed to find that the local Guardian Angel office is around the corner, I see them walking the neighborhood on the weekends and its like watching rerun. Who joins? Who even knew they still existed? This day in age what do they do? Its a neighborhood watch with a bad sense of style.
The MS Ride
Is apparently in a couple of days, I forgot about it, and actually thought t was the end of July, but no its this Saturday. If anyone wants to make last minute donations here is a link http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/COCBikeEvents?px=6518078&pg=personal&fr_id=10973.
I was supposed to have a date this weekend, and I texted to cancel with the excuse I have a bike ride I forgot about seemed really really weak, sad, maybe I should have called.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
I would like to buy a block of cheese...
9 June 2009
I would like to buy a block of cheese.... No, no, you walk down the street and you say Hey man, What’s happen’
Those of you who are fans of Good Morning Vietnam are scoffing at how badly I destroyed that scene, the rest are bewildered at best. In the scene Robin Williams takes over an English class to get closer to a girl. I felt like one of these students last week.
As part of my sentence I have to attend “Relapse Prevention” class, and last week we were learning how to speak with out the aid of drugs or alcohol. We were literally learning to talk “text book” here is an example.
Normal Conversation:
Person A: The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.
Person B: Dude, there is no genius in 3 assholes running a bar, and being stupid.
Text book talk:
Person A: “The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.”
Person B: “If I understand you correctly, you think the show is brilliant because it makes fun of everything including racism and religion. Is this correct?“
Person A: ”Yes this is what I said“
Person B: ”I disagree, would you care to hear my reasoning?“
I want to kick my own ass for having to sit through that class, and yes folks I pay for this enlightenment. Who talks like that? Being socially retarded maybe I do not know much about conversing, but I have never heard anyone talk in such a manner. This includes those idiots on Dawson’s Creek who speak like an unnamed friend in Africa (cough).
Moving
I have decided once I am off probation which could be as soon as January, but more likely September 2010 I am going to cash in the ”Joy of being single“ card. Yes, I am moving to no where in particular.... why? because I can! I nearly moved prior to my arrest but decided to give Denver a try, but now looking back to the notion. Here are my top thoughts, so I would be interested in what people might vote. Also, if you have info on moving abroad, in terms of visa etc... I am clueless. I went and worked in Ireland illegal, but this time around would need to do it legit.
Places (in no particular order)
*Philadelphia, PA (It is always sunny there)
*NYC (It seems like a place that one should live before dying)
Portland, OR (Just seems cool, and heard good things)
Chicago IL (why not?)
*Italy (Bikes, and chicks is there any other reason to wake up in the morning OH YEAH ESPRESSO!)
*Belgium (Bikes, and Beer... need I say more?)
*Germany (Beer, and some amazing world history)
Japan (Yes, I would bring down the IQ per capita but come on!)
Chile (Amazing whitewater, and mtn biking)
The ones with the handy * are ones where I figure finding work will not be too difficult, I know of quite a few furniture makers in Philly, and NY, Germany, and Belgium are hunches. Considering I change my mind nearly every second who knows where I will be in December, but I have no reason to stay in Denver, or the US for that matter. Anyone know anything about shipping the world’s greatest dog overseas?
I would like to buy a block of cheese.... No, no, you walk down the street and you say Hey man, What’s happen’
Those of you who are fans of Good Morning Vietnam are scoffing at how badly I destroyed that scene, the rest are bewildered at best. In the scene Robin Williams takes over an English class to get closer to a girl. I felt like one of these students last week.
As part of my sentence I have to attend “Relapse Prevention” class, and last week we were learning how to speak with out the aid of drugs or alcohol. We were literally learning to talk “text book” here is an example.
Normal Conversation:
Person A: The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.
Person B: Dude, there is no genius in 3 assholes running a bar, and being stupid.
Text book talk:
Person A: “The brilliance of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia lies in its ability to make fun of everything from racism to god.”
Person B: “If I understand you correctly, you think the show is brilliant because it makes fun of everything including racism and religion. Is this correct?“
Person A: ”Yes this is what I said“
Person B: ”I disagree, would you care to hear my reasoning?“
I want to kick my own ass for having to sit through that class, and yes folks I pay for this enlightenment. Who talks like that? Being socially retarded maybe I do not know much about conversing, but I have never heard anyone talk in such a manner. This includes those idiots on Dawson’s Creek who speak like an unnamed friend in Africa (cough).
Moving
I have decided once I am off probation which could be as soon as January, but more likely September 2010 I am going to cash in the ”Joy of being single“ card. Yes, I am moving to no where in particular.... why? because I can! I nearly moved prior to my arrest but decided to give Denver a try, but now looking back to the notion. Here are my top thoughts, so I would be interested in what people might vote. Also, if you have info on moving abroad, in terms of visa etc... I am clueless. I went and worked in Ireland illegal, but this time around would need to do it legit.
Places (in no particular order)
*Philadelphia, PA (It is always sunny there)
*NYC (It seems like a place that one should live before dying)
Portland, OR (Just seems cool, and heard good things)
Chicago IL (why not?)
*Italy (Bikes, and chicks is there any other reason to wake up in the morning OH YEAH ESPRESSO!)
*Belgium (Bikes, and Beer... need I say more?)
*Germany (Beer, and some amazing world history)
Japan (Yes, I would bring down the IQ per capita but come on!)
Chile (Amazing whitewater, and mtn biking)
The ones with the handy * are ones where I figure finding work will not be too difficult, I know of quite a few furniture makers in Philly, and NY, Germany, and Belgium are hunches. Considering I change my mind nearly every second who knows where I will be in December, but I have no reason to stay in Denver, or the US for that matter. Anyone know anything about shipping the world’s greatest dog overseas?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Hours to days, days to weeks...
6 May 2009
A ride
I went for a ride with a friend today who races, which felt good. I was dead afterwards, but considering he trains, and has a coach, Meanwhile I hardly ride I was able to keep up, and make him struggle a bit, made me feel as though maybe racing isn’t such a bad idea after all. I am looking to do a training race Thursday which should be interesting, we will see how I manage.
Sobriety
Well I am nearing the 2 month marker ok Thursday (the day of the race) will be two months. I haven’t really had any desire to drink, well none to which I have come close to cracking. I get urges every now and again, but luckily I am easily distracted and forget about them shortly.
Work
Work is going very well, and though it is slowing down, it looks as though we have work until october, then it seems a touch sketchy. Apparently people are a little hesitant on building multi-million dollar vacation homes as of late (go figure) come fall, I might find myself out of a job, since I am the last person hired. time will tell.
The midnight wrap up
That about sums it all up. Time keeps ticking away as it does, and now its June! I did not have to go for BA’s everyday this week which was great, and saves me some money. I have actually been sticking to my budget, which means I actually have money in the bank. Looking back through my records it seems I just spent a lot of little things. A few dollars here, and there not huge things and nothing “extravagant” just maybe a stop at Starbucks etc, and they all add up. That and dating, dating is expensive reason 1001 why I am turning celibate.
A ride
I went for a ride with a friend today who races, which felt good. I was dead afterwards, but considering he trains, and has a coach, Meanwhile I hardly ride I was able to keep up, and make him struggle a bit, made me feel as though maybe racing isn’t such a bad idea after all. I am looking to do a training race Thursday which should be interesting, we will see how I manage.
Sobriety
Well I am nearing the 2 month marker ok Thursday (the day of the race) will be two months. I haven’t really had any desire to drink, well none to which I have come close to cracking. I get urges every now and again, but luckily I am easily distracted and forget about them shortly.
Work
Work is going very well, and though it is slowing down, it looks as though we have work until october, then it seems a touch sketchy. Apparently people are a little hesitant on building multi-million dollar vacation homes as of late (go figure) come fall, I might find myself out of a job, since I am the last person hired. time will tell.
The midnight wrap up
That about sums it all up. Time keeps ticking away as it does, and now its June! I did not have to go for BA’s everyday this week which was great, and saves me some money. I have actually been sticking to my budget, which means I actually have money in the bank. Looking back through my records it seems I just spent a lot of little things. A few dollars here, and there not huge things and nothing “extravagant” just maybe a stop at Starbucks etc, and they all add up. That and dating, dating is expensive reason 1001 why I am turning celibate.
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